Don't Let the World Tell You Who You Are. Are You Living Your Life, or Someone Else's?
- Aug 30
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 31
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Ever had one of those "aha" moments that completely melts your brain? Like that time you found out a cockroach can live without a head? Or that we're all just a perception of a perception of ourselves? Hold on, let's back up to that last one. A sociologist named Charles Horton Cooley once said, "I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am." Read that again. It’s pretty wild, right? It means our entire sense of self is based on our best guess of what other people think of us. It's like we're all just a bunch of method actors, constantly playing a role to impress an audience that only exists in our heads.
This isn't just a quirky thought; it's the invisible force steering our lives. We chase careers we don't care about because we think it'll impress our parents. We buy a certain car because we imagine our friends judging us. We try to live up to what we think others think of us, even if it goes against everything we truly value. We become so absorbed in playing these different personas—online, at work, with friends—that we lose sight of the real "us." We become a distorted reflection of someone else's dreams, and we're left feeling hollow and unhappy. But what if we're not just destined to be human chameleons?
I get it. It's tough to go against the grain. My parents, like many, had a clear vision for me: doctor, lawyer, or failure. When I told them I was turning down job offers to become a monk, it was a "whoa, what did he just say?" moment. Their friends whispered I was brainwashed, my friends worried I was throwing my life away. The opinions, expectations, and obligations (OEOs) of everyone around me were deafening. But here's the kicker: what if all that noise is just dust on a mirror? What if we have the power to wipe it clean and finally see ourselves?
